On our way HOME

So on day 41 we were able to leave Brenner Childrens Hospital. It was an extremely emotional day for us, we had met so many kind, wonderful people but at the same time we were getting to take our sweet Cam home and that brought on so many diffrent emotions that I can't even explain them.

So with tear filled eyes, we loaded up the car and put our baby in his seat and headed home. We felt so privlaged that we were leaving with our baby, when others were left behind still in limbo with their babies health. So as we drove away we said a prayer for those still there as well as one for our safe journey home and our new life together.

Pictures of our NICU time

Sometimes it's hard to imagine what a NICU looks like. Before Cameron neither Paul or I really even knew this kind of world existed...I mean we knew it happened but never thought we would be able to experiance it first hand. So we took alot of pictures.

How much longer?

Being in a NICU is probably one of the saddest experiences of my life. Cam ended up spending 6 weeks there his first go round. When he was four days old it was discovered that Cams esophagus didn't attach to his stomach. Something called esophageal atresia. So this was considered a surgical emergency, and the next morning they wheeled my baby away for his first of many surgeries.

That day was super long for us. We were told the surgery would last about 4 hours, so from start to finish he would be gone about 6 hours. I was a mess. Not only did I have this baby that was going to need surgery down the road, but now I also have a baby that needed surgery for something completely unrelated to his syndrome. Needless to say that was a hard day, but not as hard as the following day when we actually had to face the fear that he could die. After Cameron's surgery he was doing well, but the following day he had a spell that shot his heart rate really low and his oxygen levels dropped extremely low. He was put on a high level vent called a JET that babies used when they were unconscious and needed to heal.

The next few days seemed clumped together. There is something that seemed so unfair about having just had a c-section, being emotionally unstable, and having a baby in critical care in a NICU. This was a huge low for me. It was a huge knock in my faith as well. I couldn't understand why a loving God would put us through something like this, and I hated when people would say, God only gives special babies to special people....BULLSHIT!!! If anything God gives special kids to regular families and it makes them stronger. I know plenty of Strong families that could have handled this just as well or better than 2 brand new parents like Paul and I. So God and I had many long talks during this time....mostly for me to be angry with him....but then to beg for forgiveness and promise anything if he would just help our baby through this. I'm not a very emotional person...so for me to break down crying in front of nurses was extremely unlike me....but I found myself doing it often.

Finally Cam started to come around. He was weened off the ventilator and doing very well. He was even on the track to going home, after being in the NICU for 2 weeks. But all of that changed. In order to check to make sure his surgery site had healed they do something called a barium swallow. Cam went to have this done and everything from his surgery looked great, but when the barium got to his intestines it showed that he had something called malrotation...ALSO Not associated with his syndrome...just another kick in the ass. So off to surgery he went again. But this time I was optimistic. This surgery was only supposed to take an hour and wasn't nearly as invasive as the first surgery he had just gone through. So into surgery he went and it did only take about an hour and he was back and on the vent again. But this surgery came with some negatives. During his healing process some mistakes were made and Cam ended up with a collapsed lung and back on a vent for another week....poor baby. Then he slowly came off the vent again, and we were back on the track to home!!!! Now just to make sure he could take a bottle and grow...sounds easy right??

Doesn't everyone labor in the back of an ambulance?

So on August 15th Paul took me to our local hospital because I was having alot of lower back pain, and because I had spent the last week in the hospital dilated to one and trying to keep him in, I thought it was possible that I was in labor. Man was I right. We got to the hospital around 11 and when our Dr. checked me I was 4 and a half centimeters. This caused a panicked scene among the Dr. and nurses.

Because of Cams pre determined condition everyone thought it would be best if we delivered Cam in Winston Salem where they have a children's hospital and he would get the best care. So in anticipation of everything we had scheduled a c-section for September 2. But that all changed on this day...Cam was coming quick! So they decided to send me via ambulance to Wake Forest. Had Cam not been so eager to get out that probably wouldn't have been a bad idea, but instead he was ready and so by the time we got to Winston I was dilated to 9 with no pain meds and forced to lay on my back on a stretcher.....(I'm pretty sure it was the most painful thing I have ever experienced)

When we finally got into the delivery room for my c-section, there were about 25 people crammed in a seemingly small room, ready to welcome this baby with medical interventions on hand. About 15 minutes later out came Cameron Joseph Elliott. 6 lbs and 6 oz. and 19 inches long. Not so small for five weeks early!

The next days seemed like a blur. Cameron had to be intubated because he was having trouble breathing, but other than that he seemed to be doing really well, and for his first few days of life we thought everything was going to be ok and that we would be heading home within a week....boy were we wrong!

Where it all began

I guess in order to start a blog, I should give some background information so that people who don't know how we got to where we are, can read up!

My husband and I had been married for 2 years when we found out we were expecting our first baby in January of 2010. We were super excited, and anticipated the arrival of what we expected to be a completely normal newborn. However, when we went to find out the sex of our sweet baby at my 18 week appointment we found out it was a boy, yay!, but also found out there may be some complications. Then at our 24 week ultrasound it was confirmed that our baby was definitely suffering from something, which they termed Aperts syndrome.

Aperts syndrome? Questions raced through our minds, what is this? how did he get it? what can be done? Will he die? Then came the google searching. This was terrifying. All of these kids were deformed and definitely not the perfect combination of myself and my husband. We were devastated, and hurt.

Fortunately there was one website that saved us. It had a listing of all these kids with Aperts syndrome and it helped us realize it wasn't as bad as we had originally thought. Still we were crazy with fear for our unborn child. Even though this syndrome didn't claim lives it still came with a very scary prognosis for two parents who had never even heard of this before.

Needless to say the rest of my pregnancy was filled with stress and anxiety. I questioned God a lot, and at one point felt so depressed I didn't want to get out of bed. For me that was extreme. I just felt like seeing other people and their genetically perfect kids would only make me feel worse, if that was even possible. Paul handled it a little better, at least on the outside.

My due date was September 19th. Cameron Joseph Elliott came five weeks early in a crazy whirlwind birth story. Thus began our journey into our Crazy, awesome new life!